if i ever wrote a book it would be a depressing story full of footnotes with funny stories that make you laugh in a bittersweet way.

also im listening to devendra banhart's santa maria de feira and cant stop shoulder dancing.

i want to wear this

"Are you acquainted with the mood of mind in which, if you were seated alone, and the cat licking its kitten on the rug before you, you would watch the operation so intently that puss's neglect of one ear would put you seriously out of temper?"

obsession?

i feel that a lot of times, people think they are the only ones going through a certain experience or cycle of failures or even that they are the only people who like a certain thing. and i know that every individual is flecked with idiosyncrasies, that "everyone is different," but chances are, many people have the same thoughts as you and are going through the same thing.

anyways, the reason why i was thinking this is that i just posted in my "about me:"

the relationship i have with each little obsession is like that of a friend who you know very well but sometimes forget about or grow apart from. and when you remember that they're there for you, its quite uplifting.

and after puking over how lame i am and asking myself a few times, "is this too ridiculous?" i wondered if that is really odd at all. you know? because often i think, "wow i'm so weird i have all these little obsessions that i rotate through like socks. i go from lost to heath ledger to being the ultimate indie music fan (cue puking) to alan rickman to stalking an ex, leading to being the perfect girlfriend to having the perfect nails to the rocky horror picture show to working out and doing yoga to reduce stress to eating icecream out of the carton to the thought of telling your life to a stranger to finding black and white movies on random tv channels to watch before i go to bed to sushi to wikipediaing the shit out of pop culture icons to being a fervent supporter of obama and religiously watching the aryan god that is anderson cooper to hamlet and his intellect to where i am now, which is being obsessed with watching the best movies ever made. to name a few, that is."
but i suppose everyone must do that. right? everyone gets intensly obsessed with a certain thing for a short amount (or i guess a long amount- i was closely following CNN for a good couple months...) of time, and then the obsession fades until it sparks back up when, maybe, you're flipping through the tv one night and happen to land on a program about hollywood during WWII (in relation to the black and white film thing.)

so maybe its not that weird that i do that. maybe its just that since most all of these things are done in private, you dont tend to share them with the rest of the world? and i just havent picked up on my friends or family doing it for that reason?

I dunno. andif i'm following what i just said, i wont know. unless of course you decide to tell me!

ps. i decided that what i wrote in my "about me" is way too look-at-me-i-can-think-things-BUT- they-arent-really-too-profound-or-interesting-to-read-HOWEVER-i-can-trick-the-average-person-into-thinking-im-a-pretty-cool-kid. i'll just change it back to my catch phrase.

after i came home from seeing benjamin button with ryan, something strange happened.
i had something to say and i wasn't too nervous to say it. an opinion. it was odd.

i've discussed the movie to no end so i dont particularly feel like writing about it here, but its a nice segway into a new list.

ps. Sean penn needs to get an academy award for milk.

AN EVER GROWING LIST OF MOVIES I'D LIKE TO SEE (in no order)
Dr. Strangelove
Fight Club
Casablanca (last night i was watching a program on WWII's influence on hollywood)
Harvey
Pulp Fiction
Eagle vs Shark (x)
A Clockwork Orange
Slumdog Millionare (x)
The Wrestler (x)
Revolutionary Road (x)
The Pianist
American History X
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Requiem for a Dream
Harold and Maude
Funny Face
Bonnie and Clyde
Vanilla Sky
Doubt
An Affair to Remember
Atonement
The Elephant Man
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Prestige
American Psycho (x)
Persepolis
No Country For Old Men
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Marie Antionette
Mystic River
Chicago
I Am Sam
Chocolat
The English Patient
Sideways
Lost In Translation
Risky Business
Ballet Shoes
Ratcatcher

more to come.